Aliens Have Kidnapped Jeff McLane
Happy Monday out there! I’m sorry to have to report that we have some bad news. It seems as though aliens have kidnapped Jeff McLane. We all know the scene from Wayne’s World when Garth thinks his dog is telling him that Wayne has been captured by aliens, when in reality she’s just letting him know that Wayne is outside playing hockey. Unfortunately, for all the Eagles fans in the Delaware Valley, Jeff isn’t outside playing hockey…he’s actually been kidnapped by extraterrestrial beings… And not just regular aliens, but THE alien himself, Eliot Shorr-Parks. How do we know this? Take a look at this tweet:
If this isn’t Eliot’s work I don’t know what is. We know the Eagles haven’t fully addressed the cornerback position! Every Eagles fan with a brain understands that! They’re nowhere near winning this year and guess what? It’s ok! This is a process. They have so many holes on the roster, mainly because they’re still recovering from that fat fraud Chip Kelly decimating it. We’re smart fans…we understand they’re not filling every need in one off season.
This is the face of an alien. If you see him, please go up to him and pester the living shit out of him and make sure to tell him to bring our buddy Jeff back safely!
May 24, 2017
March 29, 2017