Anthony “Gags” Gargano: Part II

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This is part II of a two-part profile…

We had so much to write about our furry little South Jersey Italian meatball yesterday that we couldn’t fit everything into one profile piece.  So here we are on Meat Locker Thursdays with the second part of the Anthony ‘Gags’ Gargano profile.

 

First things first – what the fuck is a meat locker?  Could they have picked a worse name?  I get it’s a bunch of meatheads sitting around the studio, eating meat, farting (MCW included) and talking about being meatheads, but come on.  Is this meat locker a locker room with all sorts of cured meats hanging from the ceiling and Gags standing there, in all his glory, inspecting everyone’s “meat?”  “Alright Baldy you’re up first.  WHOA – JONNY MARKS!! HE’S GOT A MEAT BO!!!”  I can totally see it.  And then there’s MCW over in the corner going to town on herself with a 12 inch salami.  Ugh – what a beautiful scene.

Gags’ ability to name drop is second to none.  Gags wants you to know that he knows everyone in South Philly, even though he’s not from South Philly and currently resides at Dockside.  Everyday it’s someone new:  Pasquale the Tailor, Vinny from Termini’s, Johnny from Di Bruno Brothers, Joey from Brigantessa, etc.  Anything to let you know he is more South Philly Italian than South Philly Italians themselves, Gags will do.  Look man we get it – you tried really hard to be a South Philly Italian and you ate your way to the top.  Good for you!

Gags also enjoys name dropping his boys.  I have to be honest; if I were in his position I’d probably do the same.  Why the hell not?  Give some love to the boys.  “So me and Gooch went over to Stogie Joes last night Jonny Marks.”  Jesus Christ.  Who are your other boys, Sack and Taint?  Could you be any more obnoxious with these name drops?  This isn’t the Sopranos where you can go around nicknaming people “Big Pussy.”  Maybe one day Gags will do us all a favor and revert back to his true roots in South Jersey and drop this whole South Philly Italian schtick.  One last thing – I hope MCW knows what shes in for…

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